Friday, September 12, 2014

Now what?


In February 2013 I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.  Triple Negative Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive form.  I had full scans, and the doctors told me that the cancer was only seen in my breast and some armpit lymph nodes.  I did chemo.  It killed it.  I did radiation.  The doctors said that I had an excellent chance of surviving.  Most likely, I'd get this behind me, grow back my hair, and get back to life.

In July/August 2014, I started to notice that I was having a hard time articulating words.  I had no prior issues, and thought maybe I was overtired.  I went to the doctor.  I had extremely high blood pressure.  I was sent to the ER for a CT scan.  The scans revealed that the cancer metastasized to my brain.  There are 5 tumors.  Ahhhhhh fuck.

I started whole brain radiation right away for about 5 weeks,  My doctors are working together to figure out my treatment plan.  Brain tumors are tricky things.  My pet scan did not indicate any other cancer, which is a very good thing.

The doctors haven't given us much specific information regarding my prognosis or what exactly I will expect.  I understand why.  Each case is very different, and I would rather grab onto whatever hope I can extrapolate from the doctors' ambiguous statements.  There may be options down the road to participate in a trial.

When I first started radiation, I was given steroids to reduce the swelling in my brain (caused by the radiation and the tumors themselves). I am out of it, but I've been told this will get better as my brain starts to shrink from the radiation.  My hair is falling out.  It will all fall out, and it will take a while to grow back.  After radiation is completed, I will wait another 4-6 weeks prior to getting another MRI.  The doctors will then determine how I respond to the radiation and how the tumors react.

I am taking cannabis oil (Simpson/Dama Oil).  There is all of this information online about how cannabis kills cancer.  Unfortunately the information is difficult to ascertain or even locate.  I've been taking high CBD (cannaboids) oil several times per day; it's not supposed to make one stoned...I'm working on increasing my dosage.  If you have any experience or know others who have taken the Simpson Oil, I would be interested to know more.

So yeah....it's absolutely amazing how life can just change like that.  I was okay.  I'm not okay now.  What do I do?  I fucking fight.  I fight for Astrid.  I fight for June.  I fight for West.  I fight for my husband and my parents and my family.  I fucking fight for myself.  And I fight for every single day I can get with my kids.